Little Gold Nuggets

Sometimes you know what you’re reading is better than just plain good.

Today, I was bored out of my mind. I was working on three stories and waiting for a call for each of them.

I had exhausted all of my “kill time activities,” which include going through arrest reports and highlighting the juicy tidbits so others writing can decide if they like it or not quickly.

I am bored often.

So while going through the arrest reports I stumbled upon some truly amazing arrest reports.

One had a man trying to steal a live lobster. He literally went to Red Lobster, distracted the hostess and grabbed the lobster out the of the tank. When the hostess came  back she saw the man trying to stuff it in a bag he brought with him.

Right behind that report sat another piece of gold. A misuse of 911 where I man claimed to need help for a “broken heart,” amazing.

Some things I just don’t think you can make up and those two reports were among them. They write themselves and guarantee at minimum thousands of page views.

So, thank you Lord for little gifts that come in the form of hilarious arrest reports. I needed it.

Get Me Out of Here

I think working in a field that emphasizes personal meetings over phone calls has spoiled me.

I hate the days when I don’t leave the office, which, if I understand correctly, is how most office employees’ days go everyday — yuk.

Most days I know I’ll be leaving for at least a six-mile trek to the Sheriff’s Office to pick up arrest reports. Other days if I hear a wreck on the scanner and my hind side is tired of sitting in front of the computer I’ll go, snap some photos and typically stop at a fast food joint and get a nice drink.

It was great when the oil first started appearing on our beaches. I got to go to the beach everyday. I’d pack a beach outfit, some Bermuda shorts and a conservative tank top so I wouldn’t have to smell up the office when I returned, and would walk the stretch of sand talking with people, taking photos and occasionally dipping my feet in the water to cool off.

I got a nice tan and a break from the office.

The days when I don’t leave the office at all, though, are killer.

I sit, walk into the break room, sit, go to the bathroom sometimes just to look at new scenery, sit, eat more than necessary and, oh yeah, sit some more.

I had a friend tell me about something called “secretary butt” that happens when people sit too much in their lifetime. All I could think is now I have a new fear to add to the list.

“Great, now not only do I have to fear about dying alone, I may die with a larger-than-usual behind — awesome.”

Staying in my pod also makes for an incredibly long day, and eight hours is already long without having to feel every minute of it.

This is why I decided early on that I would never want to sit at a desk with the title of editor or anything similar. I don’t think I could take coming to the office day in and day out without a chance of leaving the four walls.

I mean, I work in a large room of six pods (four desks stuck together), no windows and a leaky roof. Picturesque it is not.

Why am I whining? Because on my calendar today is a big, white blank space that tells me that any chance I have of leaving the office would already be penciled in.

Today, sadly, is a sitting day.

Bored at a Desk

Two things to know about me:

A. I sit at a desk for long periods of time and it can be incredibly monotonous.

B. I tend to be about 10 years behind on all technology, internet stuff and music.

So I discovered an amazing website where you can make your own playlist or listen to other people’s playlists. It’s amazing!

Everyday I stick one earbud in my ear, bob my head and happily sing to myself while typing the boring, non-thoughtful things I do.

I thought I would share this website with the world, although most likely you already know about it. I also, being a humble person, feel like I have made the greatest playlist of all time. So feel free to listen and enjoy!