I’m Going to be Shot At, Guaranteed

I only have myself to blame.

I didn’t have any assignments today, or any ideas. I finished all the little things I had to do by 9 a.m. with a lot of day left.

This inspired my boss to get out her car keys and say, “C’mon. I’m going to teach you how to find stories.”

Oh boy.

So I hop in her minivan and we ride around town looking at signs, odd going-ons and then we stumbled upon a house with a yard full of weeds taller than me.

I take a picture, mostly to appease her, and we drive on. Then we see a home with what looks like everything that once sat inside of it in the yard. Televisions, chairs, vacuum cleaners, stuffed animals — you get the picture.

Then, genius struck me. (This has been happening a lot lately: genius ideas)

Why not take a photo of unsightly homes, yards, etc. all around the area and post them to the website? The genius of this was so simple: Take a picture, post the picture and get a ton of page views.


Then I realized my stupidity.

Most unsightly eyesores reside in neighborhoods that eat little girls like me for breakfast.

Once we got back to the office and the idea was approved and the project was stamped with the idea that this would be mine to do, I set out to find some eyesores.

I walked out of the office with my head held high. I’m going to get readers involved with submitting stories, I have found a way to get out of the office and roam the area whenever I’m bored. I’m a freakin’ genius.

As I drove listening to my radio, sipping my ice water and keeping an eye out for ugly stuff, I slowly started getting more and more uncomfortable.

I was in neighborhood’s where domestic violence happens all the time, gun shots are always heard in the background and I know one of those roads had a dead body spotted on it not more than a year ago.

Not to mention, I have to stop and roll down my window or get out of my car to get these pictures.

My only thoughts as I finished up my photo taking sessions were, “This is how I’m going to die. I will be shot for taking a picture of a rusted car …  Steve Irwin had a better death than that.”



2 responses to “I’m Going to be Shot At, Guaranteed

  1. Thanks, Angel! I truly enjoyed this post, please understand I am not hoping to read about your death, though. It simply made me laugh at work! 🙂 I am trying to picture this: you driving in a car, looking creepily at the junk that people call a yard or home, and then asking the man with a gun to just be your friend. 🙂 hehehe

  2. There was some show on TV, I think Jeff Foxworthy, who featured funny pictures that say “you might be a red-neck if…”. Your story reminded me of this. Maybe this posting will remind you that you have a mother with whom you have not spoken to in 5 days. The last time we spoke was when I was cooking and cleaning at your house. (a not so subtle hint)

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