I’ve struggled to find peace and solace for sometime now.
Yesterday, after hearing that the photographer would not be coming to an assignment I had given him a week before my anger got the best of me. I’ve never had a temper that resulted in anything more than a few loud shouts, but I found myself shaking.
The moment I heard myself scream in the privacy of my car and felt the tears welling up in my eyes I knew something needed to change in me, not the newsroom or the world I am living in.
I’ve let people get to me. I’ve let the evil get inside me and done nothing to fight it.
I’ve allowed myself to be driven by anger and bitterness.
After crying a few tears, I looked in my mirror and I didn’t like the person I saw.
Yesterday, I decided, was my changing point.
I’m changing back to the old me. The me that felt love and kindness was enough to overcome any vindictive feelings.
It’s not something I can do on my own, this I know. That’s why I’m grateful I have a belief in something bigger than myself. I have the God who created this world guiding me and giving me a light that no one can darken.
This won’t be easy, but I know that sharing Christ never is. The things that feel the hardest are usually the most worthy to pursue.