It happened … I turned 30

For as long as I can remember I’ve feared “30”. It felt old, far away, scary.

I made appeals that if I wasn’t married, didn’t have kids and wasn’t at the peak of my career by 30 then I might as well hang up my hat. I thought 30 was basically the end.

Now, I’m 20 minutes from 30. I’m single, childless and expect to change careers in the next 5 years. What the heck!?

I’ve been emotional this week. Primarily because God is using this most feared of birthdays to teach me something.

I’m learning that I’m not the list of goals I made out when I was 22. I’m not the career or salary that I make. I’m not the lack of accomplishments spinning through my head. I’m a chosen person, a royal priesthood.

I’m fulfilled in God. Nothing else can or will fulfill me. I am made whole in Him and can rest assured in Him.

I didn’t think I’d be single at this age. I planned at 22 to be pregnant with my second kiddo about now. 

I also didn’t plan to leave the country and explore France, Cairo, Manila and Costa Rica. I didn’t expect to be living in Orlando minutes away from some of my best friends and sister. I didn’t expect that my extrovert heart would be made whole by new friends and new adventures.

Honestly, I didn’t expect to feel this darn young. I’m not going to say tears of things that never came to be haven’t rolled down my cheeks, but I will say God has moved in my heart and my life in significant ways. He has taught me that life as is is exactly what he intended and there are many sweet things to come. This is life. 

This, apparently, is 30.


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