Candidates, Murders and Septic Tanks?

Today I am dressed in my best. By best I mean I don’t look like my usual 8-year-old girl self.

My day, this fine day, will be spent traipsing around town interviewing candidates for the upcoming election. I love politics, I really do.

I like researching what I will be voting for and I love thinking, although some may disagree, that my vote counts. That’s why we live in this free nation.

However, I do not like hearing candidates dribble on and on about why they are the best. When people run for office I feel like the high-school version of them comes out to play.

They lie and say whatever we want to hear and they talk smack about the opponents. I just see juvenile when I look at them. Not exactly who I would choose to make decisions that will affect me in the future.

Tomorrow, was supposed to be a thrilling day. Three folks up for murder trials will be in court. Grant it, they are just appearing before the judge for a pre-trial, status hearing. But it means they are one step closer to trial.

Well, as it turns out, my editor doesn’t really care about that. He wants intense coverage on something else going on in town and it appears I am the only one to cover it.

Oh, joy. A septic tank seminar. Just what I’ve always wanted to do.

I’m not cynical, I just don’t see how septic tanks can be better than murder.

Can you?

If a Porn Star Walked into Court, What Would She Look Like?

That question was answered for me Thursday.

Go ahead, take a guess. Since seeing a real-life porn star in court I’ve been asking around, “What would a porn star wear if she had a court appearance?”

I’ve heard animal print, fur and, my roomie’s guess, “Like that trashy lady in ‘A Cinderella Story’ and ‘Legally Blond,’ ” All good guesses, actually.

But my thoughts leaned more toward leather — and that is exactly what I saw.

Black leather paneled pants and tank top. Black hair and a leopard-print purse. Yowza!

Looking back, I should have known. My first thought should have been, “Hey look, it’s a porn star.” But my mind just doesn’t work like that.

I didn’t realize who was before the judge until long after she left.

Sometimes, if it’s crowded and I’m not able to get a good seat in court, the bailiff will ask if I want to sit in the “box,” which is where the attorney’s sit when a trials going on. During a trial, the box belongs to the jury.

This was one of those days and several people after the porn star later a woman sitting next to me leaned over to her co-worker and asked if he’d seen “the porn star.”

Well my reporter ears automatically perked up, thinking back to the woman I’d seen earlier with the crazy outfit. Of course, she was a porn star. Duh!

I was so angry. I should have gotten her picture, I should have written down her name, I should have chased her down and asked her … something.

While I may have missed the opportunity to interview the porn star I did get a question answered. Now I know what a porn star would wear to work.

One less question in this crazy world that I don’t know the answer to.